Learning the Ropes

Hey Ho, Friends and Neighbors.  Reverend Squeaky-Eye here, coming at you from the sunny and cool shores of the Donau.  The last few weeks have been spent trying to learn more about my role here while Marco mutters about Deutschgrammatik and other demons.  When he isn't torturing language syntax or tapping away on his laptop, he occasionally pretends he remembers how to work.  His Sweetie-Pie bought him his very own Super-Mario-Pants, which he is overly proud of.  If only the poor sod had him some real work, instead of his demeaning scribbling.

 Yes, there he is, pretending to do some real work.  Ha!

Marco had been trying to explain this Ex-Pat thing to me, but I still don't quite understand.  It seems that there are two basic functions for an Ex-Pat.  Moreover, these two functions seem to be the same across the globe.  The first task of an Ex-Pat is to be as snooty as possible to any tourists that come to the place or city occupied by said Ex-Pat.  It is very important to be extra snooty to any tourists from one's own country.  The second task of any Ex-Pat is to complain about the local folks, the local language, and any other local stuff that is handy.  

Like I said, I'm struggling with this.  I pointed out to Marco that if we follow this protocol, there wasn't much left to enjoy except other Ex-Pats.  He said no, we were supposed to be a little standoffish with other Ex-Pats as well.  So I sez to him, let me get this straight.  We have to be snooty to tourists, extra snooty to tourists from the USA, complain about everything else, and be standoffish to any other Ex-Pats we meet.  He told me I was getting the gist of it and to keep practicing.  I tell you Friends and Neighbors, I'm not sure I'm cut out for this sort of behavior.  Marco sez those are the rules and to just deal with it.  I think maybe he's gone a little bonkers.  But I ignore him most of the time anyway so I don't see why I should change now.

I am learning that spring in Vienna is a tentative thing.  Spring sort of creeps about in a doubtful way, not really sure of itself.  I think that the Austrian Spring lacks confidence.  When the sun does shine, I try to make the most of it.  One of the best ways to do this is by heading out to the Stadtwanderwegs.  Wien is ringed by the Wienerwald, the forested hills on the north, west and southern edges of the Stadt.  The Donau, or Danube river, makes up the eastern side, although Wien spills across the Donau into the beginning of the Hungarian plain.  The Stadtwanderwegs are fantastic hiking trails that are accessible via public transport.  Genius!  Hop on the U-Bahn, transfer to a tram or a bus and bingo!

 

This is the beginning of Stadtwanderwef Eins, #1, right off the end of the tram line.  Beethoven used to live just up this little street.  He was a grumpy bastard so he often got thrown out of his digs and had to move somewhere else.  He lived all over Wien.  They have erected statues of him now that he is too dead to pay the back rent he owed.

Here is the groovy method the Wieners use for utility poles.  The wooden pole is bolted to a concrete anchor.  The pole doesn't touch the ground so it doesn't rot.  Clever, yes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spring is trying, but it is a slow go.

 

 

Another great feature about the Stadtwanderwegs is that they always have little cafes or garden restaurants scattered along the route.  The Viennese do like their tucker.  I'm getting damn fond of it as well, regardless of the Ex-Pat complaining thing.

 

 

This is Barlauchsuppe, a yummy treat made of a sort of wild garlic herb that has a very short season in the spring.  You will see folks wandering about gathering the wild plants.

 With a schnitzel as big as two pancakes and a bowl of tater salad, a fella can stay on his feet a good long time.

I may not understand this whole living abroad thing, but I'm having a damn fine time.  Since I have chosen to ignore the silly Ex-Pat rules, I find that the Viennese folks are pretty friendly once you get them to warm up a little bit.  There is a lovely dark sense of humour that permeates the culture here, something that is damn fun once you get the hang of it.  The Wieners love to complain about stuff, but they also make jokes about the complaining.  Perky behavior confuses them as much as a big smiley greeting on the street.  It's a fun way to keep them on their toes.  

That's about it for now, I guess, so I'll be signing off.  Be well and happy folks!