My Fair Ladies

La Hacienda de las dos Gnomos

The Hacienda fell under the curse of Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn. Verily, the Rain in Spain Fell Mainly On The Plain. My Fair Ladies, Dos Hermanas, the Two Sisters, were some seriously soggy Spanish wenches. The rain doused our plain, the fields of olives and oranges that surround Dos Hermanas. Rain, rain, and more rain. Not only was it raining, it was damn cold as well. The house took on the chill as only a completely concrete and tile structure can. But did we cower? No, we did not. Okay, maybe we cowered a bit, but eventually we got bored with cowering and decided to try our luck. But our luck wasn't having any of it.

The lovely view of Southern Spain on a spring day

We loaded up the Marbella and headed out into the squall. To the south of Isla Menor is an African Stork refuge. The storks build enormous nests on the top of power pylons. Local bird aficionados have convinced the power grid folks that the birds aren't hurting anything, so a relationship of tolerance has developed. Despite the raging wind trying to push little Marbella off the narrow lane, we blazed and rattled across the rain-drenched plain. Stupid plain. All the while, Marbella's tinny alarm screeched at us, as if to say "Turn Back, you Fools! Turn Back!"

An African Stork and its giant nest

We did find the storks. We did see their giant nests, and the storks themselves. We even saw the heads of young storks peering over the precipitous edge. We did not, however, venture out in to the gale. The screechy interior of Marbella was fine with us. We retreated to La Hacienda and huddled around the heaters. We smoked, we made horrible jokes about Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn, invented ribald scenarios that would have given that old movie an X-rating. We made the best of it.

Making toast Spanish Style

If one is trapped in a cold house on the plains of Spain, one must do what one can. The orange crop was waiting for attention. This is just one crate of oranges. There is another crate nestled below this one. None of these oranges were purchased. This is but a part of the harvest from the orange grove on the Hacienda. More oranges than you can shake a Spanish stick at. Even after canning up a massive batch of orange marmalade, there are still crates of oranges lying about. Besides the oranges, there is a crate of lemons. What's a rain-bound traveler to do?

Make juice! Lots of juice!

We whiled away the day in good company. As the evening came on, we decided to brave the squall and head into Dos Hermanas. There was some hope of catching one of the Semana Santos events. I have to admit that we were roundly defeated. Wind-swept rain pummeled the narrow streets of the old town. We saw sodden Spaniards clutching horns and drums, scattering before the storm. We soldiered on until we were soaked. Giving up our folly, we headed for the supermercado to stock up on supplies. Tonight it would be dinner at home, with yours truly as chief cook. Damn you to hell, Rex Harrison!

Outdoor clothes dryers in front of the supermercado. I thought about chucking myself inside and feeding the machines coins. At least I would be warm and dry.

Cheap olives, one of the benefits of living on this soggy plain. This is also a shout-out to my Ecuadorian Ex-pat Hermano Mark Hansen. No man loves olives more than he.

In the end, we persevered, but we persevered by staying inside. The weather forecast gave a promise of sunny weather on the morrow. For this night, however, the squalls pummeled the hacienda. At least we were not stuck in a hotel somewhere. Better to be trapped in the house of a good friend, with fine company and ample orange juice and toast. We shared a fine meal, laughed and joked. Eventually it was off to our beds, snuggled under piles of blankets, listening to the howl of the wind and the splatter of the rain.

"By George I think she's got it!" I doubt either Rex Harrison or Audrey Hepburn actually endured the Rains on the Plains of Spain. If they had, they would not have been crowing about it in silly songs. But to hell with them, here we were, and here we would stay. Tomorrow was a day to travel, a day of promised sun, a day of parting. But for now, it was time to sleep. Which means, of course, that it is time for me to say "Ciao for Now!"