One of the criteria that is often used to judge a metropolis is the accessibility of public toilets. Sure, other factors are important. Things like safety, public transport, climate and business opportunities are factors that media-type folks use when they are compiling "Best Cities" lists. But if a Brother or Sister has to do the inevitable, a safe and clean place to accomplish the deed is a factor in "livability."
As an itinerant traveler, I am always on the lookout for the local way of dealing with evacuation. Yes, if one finds him or herself in Sri Lanka or the southern Thailand, it is handy to know the tsunami escape routes, but we are speaking of other things here. When you gotta go, you gotta go, so it's good to be in the know.
Most major cities in the USA fail miserably in the public toilet category. The cagey US urbanite knows the trick of ducking into Starbucks or Mickey-Ds. This works in Vienna as well. Say what you will about either of these company's contributions to banality, they usually sport pretty clean crappers. But what if a traveler wants to take it to the next level, to truly revel in the joys of free evacuation, unencumbered by the Down-Pressor Man? For that type of personal freedom one needs to look across the shores to Europe, particularly Vienna.
Here is a link to an article about why Vienna is tops:
Wien is #1
So, without further ado, let's start our little tour of the Pissoirs of my adopted home.
This is the very secure and very unwelcoming door of the US Consulate in Wien. I'll probably end up on some watch list for publishing this. Don't come here expecting easy access to a Badzimmer. The security is intense, including a explosives detection swab. I was here this morning to get yet another piece of notarized paper for the Austrian paper-munchers. And not the paper you wipe your bum with. So let's move on.
In Wien, there are public toilets and then there are public toilets. Pissoirs are usually free, but not always. A stall (Kabine) is usually .50-1.50 Euro. When I am out and about in the Stadt, my needs tend towards a place to micturate, so that is what we are going to concentrate on for the rest of this blog. Sorry Sisters (or sitters) but if you want to go for the closed door, it is most likely going to cost you. But not necessarily, as we will see. Part of it depends on your personal fortitude. I feel it incumbent to add, however, that after some of the loos I have experienced (Laotian Market Loo, Southern Indian Bus Station) Wien is a cake walk.
Language and technical note: Kabine is pronounced like Cab-een-eh. Breathe out on that last "eh." On the technical side, Kabinen are usually much more private than the typical American toilet stall. The doors and walls will usually extend from the floor all the way or most of the way to the ceiling. This is true in Deutschland as well as Austria.
Okay, starting with the creme-d'la-creme, this is the one that everyone talks about: The Opera WC in the Karlsplatz U-Bahn station. Just down the escalator from the State Opera, it doesn't get much posher than this. Free? Hell no, not even for a pee. But if you need to have piped in opera music to encourage, sooth, or cover the noises of your necessaries, this is your spot. Clean as a whistle (or oboe) and oh so memorable, it's probably worth the 1.50 Euro. Me, I've never graced the inside. There is a reason for that.
A fairly short walk down the gleaming tile corridors of the same U-Bahn station is the real public toilet, the one for us poor working stiffs. This one is also spotless and the pissoir is free. Not only that, the attendants are very friendly, actually welcome you, and keep the place smelling as sweet as such a facility can be. One of my favorite in the city, highly recommended.
Gleaming inside as well, this is what you can expect to find. You'll pardon me if I did not include and "action" shot. Use your imagination.
Naschmarkt is the sprawling collection of food stalls, market stalls and kiosks along the Wien Fluss. It is a huge tourist attraction as well as a shopping bazaar. Think of an open-air Pike Place Market in (Seattle) and you get the idea. Older and a bit more fragrant than the Karlsplatz Badzimmers, this is still a good option. The three-urinal pissoir is free. A stall is going to set you back .50 Euro.
Now is the time for a cautionary word or two. There is a big difference between the attended public toilets and the unattended ones. Many of the attended toilets will cost you something, while others have free pissoirs. What all of them have is a degree of sanitation that is (more or less) dandy for the use to which you will put it. There are differences, of course. The Pissoir at the exit of the Westbahnhof U-6/U-3 station is top-notch, very clean and one of my regular stops. Oddly, the busy tourist station of Stephansdom (U-3) is okay, but pretty smelly. Both are attended. Go figure.
While we are speaking on this matter, here is a little image that I feel goes with the theme:
The Herren at Kettenbrukengasse Station.
When the need strikes and this is where you are, my first suggestion is to take a few deep breaths. Literally. Then plunge on in and waste no time. You will find the place suitable for the transaction but not necessarily somewhere that you would want to linger. I don't mean to pick on this particular crapper. There are lots worse. If you find yourself one of the older stations north of the Westbahnhof on the U-6, well, good luck. The single room fixed toilet stalls are private, but that's the only benefit. They are also used by those who need them the worst, the homeless and the junkies. You have ventured out of the tourist land, so things can get a bit more real.
That about wraps it up for this little installment. On the streets of Wien, you are not usually too far from a public facility suitable for your needs. The aesthetics of the experience will depend a bit on your proximity to the tourist center and luck. Still, the level of civility that is present in Wien is, I dare say, a breath of fresh air. Yuckity-yuck.
Until the next time, be well, be happy, pee freely, and as always, "Ciao for Now!"
As an itinerant traveler, I am always on the lookout for the local way of dealing with evacuation. Yes, if one finds him or herself in Sri Lanka or the southern Thailand, it is handy to know the tsunami escape routes, but we are speaking of other things here. When you gotta go, you gotta go, so it's good to be in the know.
Most major cities in the USA fail miserably in the public toilet category. The cagey US urbanite knows the trick of ducking into Starbucks or Mickey-Ds. This works in Vienna as well. Say what you will about either of these company's contributions to banality, they usually sport pretty clean crappers. But what if a traveler wants to take it to the next level, to truly revel in the joys of free evacuation, unencumbered by the Down-Pressor Man? For that type of personal freedom one needs to look across the shores to Europe, particularly Vienna.
Here is a link to an article about why Vienna is tops:
Wien is #1
So, without further ado, let's start our little tour of the Pissoirs of my adopted home.
In Wien, there are public toilets and then there are public toilets. Pissoirs are usually free, but not always. A stall (Kabine) is usually .50-1.50 Euro. When I am out and about in the Stadt, my needs tend towards a place to micturate, so that is what we are going to concentrate on for the rest of this blog. Sorry Sisters (or sitters) but if you want to go for the closed door, it is most likely going to cost you. But not necessarily, as we will see. Part of it depends on your personal fortitude. I feel it incumbent to add, however, that after some of the loos I have experienced (Laotian Market Loo, Southern Indian Bus Station) Wien is a cake walk.
Language and technical note: Kabine is pronounced like Cab-een-eh. Breathe out on that last "eh." On the technical side, Kabinen are usually much more private than the typical American toilet stall. The doors and walls will usually extend from the floor all the way or most of the way to the ceiling. This is true in Deutschland as well as Austria.
Okay, starting with the creme-d'la-creme, this is the one that everyone talks about: The Opera WC in the Karlsplatz U-Bahn station. Just down the escalator from the State Opera, it doesn't get much posher than this. Free? Hell no, not even for a pee. But if you need to have piped in opera music to encourage, sooth, or cover the noises of your necessaries, this is your spot. Clean as a whistle (or oboe) and oh so memorable, it's probably worth the 1.50 Euro. Me, I've never graced the inside. There is a reason for that.
Gleaming inside as well, this is what you can expect to find. You'll pardon me if I did not include and "action" shot. Use your imagination.
Now is the time for a cautionary word or two. There is a big difference between the attended public toilets and the unattended ones. Many of the attended toilets will cost you something, while others have free pissoirs. What all of them have is a degree of sanitation that is (more or less) dandy for the use to which you will put it. There are differences, of course. The Pissoir at the exit of the Westbahnhof U-6/U-3 station is top-notch, very clean and one of my regular stops. Oddly, the busy tourist station of Stephansdom (U-3) is okay, but pretty smelly. Both are attended. Go figure.
While we are speaking on this matter, here is a little image that I feel goes with the theme:
Really doesn't require a caption, now does it? There's lots of these. Bothersome when the urge is on you.
Ahem, well, moving on. What to do if you aren't near one of the spiffy new U-Bahn stations or a nice modern shopping area? What if, let's say, you are at one of the older U-6 stations or possibly the U-4 or near the rummage sale area west of the Naschmarkt? Well, first, do not despair. There will be a place. But now we have moved into the more fragrant and earthy category of facilities.
The Herren at Kettenbrukengasse Station.
When the need strikes and this is where you are, my first suggestion is to take a few deep breaths. Literally. Then plunge on in and waste no time. You will find the place suitable for the transaction but not necessarily somewhere that you would want to linger. I don't mean to pick on this particular crapper. There are lots worse. If you find yourself one of the older stations north of the Westbahnhof on the U-6, well, good luck. The single room fixed toilet stalls are private, but that's the only benefit. They are also used by those who need them the worst, the homeless and the junkies. You have ventured out of the tourist land, so things can get a bit more real.
That about wraps it up for this little installment. On the streets of Wien, you are not usually too far from a public facility suitable for your needs. The aesthetics of the experience will depend a bit on your proximity to the tourist center and luck. Still, the level of civility that is present in Wien is, I dare say, a breath of fresh air. Yuckity-yuck.
Until the next time, be well, be happy, pee freely, and as always, "Ciao for Now!"
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