Thailand Redux

Thailand:  It ain't all lotus blossoms.

Folks who travel to Thailand will tell you amazing stories about the "Land of Smiles."  Most of these tales will be true.  Even some of my blog posts about Thailand are true.  What is also true about Thailand is that it is a real country and, as such, has real problems.  If you have read any of my former blog posts about traveling in Southeast Asia, you will know that I love it here.  The journey I have just returned from marks my fifth trek across various combinations of Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam.  While Thailand remains one of my favorite destinations on our planet, I thought it would be a good idea to write about some of the less than wonderful aspects of being in Thailand.  So, in no particular order, let's get down to it.

While it may not be overtly apparent to a casual traveler, Thailand is not a democracy.  Ostensibly a constitutional monarchy, Thailand has been ruled primarily by a series of military strong men since the end of World War II.  Until 1932, Thailand was an absolute monarchy.  The monarchy was overthrown in an almost bloodless coup brought about by a group of civilians and military officers.  A constitutional monarchy was established in place of the absolute monarchy.  Since that time Thailand has been ruled by a series of military leaders with the exception of brief periods of democratically elected governments.  There have been seventeen constitutions, the last one being established in 2007.  His Majesty Bhumibol Adulyadej was the King of Thailand until his death this month.  While the King exerted some moderating influence over the military leaders, the juntas remain the true power in the kingdom.  The current ruling group is the National Counsel for Peace and Order.  As a ruling power, they have partially repealed portions of the 2007 constitution.  

What does all of this have to do with a traveler to Thailand?  The answer to that depends on where one goes in the kingdom.  Years ago, I was in Bangkok during the Yellow Shirt-Red Shirt upheaval.  I visited the protest encampments, talked with lots of folks, and I had no issues with anyone including the police.  I would not recommend overt involvement in Thai politics, but as an observer I was not molested in any way.  Quite the contrary, I was welcomed at the encampments in true Thai fashion.  Still, it is important to remember who is running the country.

Thailand is a huge tourist destination and the Thai authorities are not going to do anything to jeopardize the very lucrative flow of tourist dollars that make up a large percentage of the Thai economy.  Having said that, the next year might not be the best time to visit the kingdom.  The government has ordered a one-year period of mourning for the King.  Public celebrations, parties, and consumption of alcohol are to be "toned down."  This month's notorious Full-Moon party was cancelled as part of the mourning observances.

But back to the government and how it might impact a traveler.  If you are in Bangkok, it will be very difficult to notice any strongly overt military or police presence, especially if you have not been in the city prior.  The same will generally remain true if a traveler stays on the tried and true tourist trails that lead to the islands of the Andaman Sea or the cultural tourist mecca of Chiang Mai.  Venture out into the Thai countryside or less-traveled provincial cities, however, and the story may be different.  As we traveled deeper into Isaan, the northeastern region of Thailand, we were more often the only Farrang (foreigners) in sight.  The police, or military police, frequently asked us for our tickets and questioned us about our destination.  While we were treated with great respect during these encounters, this has not been my experience in the past.  Still, this is Thailand.  After taking our photos as part of the track-side "interview," we were then politely asked if we would pose for a group photo with the two police officers.  

Another issue to consider is whether or not one wants to travel in a country that is under military rule.  That would be a matter of personal conscience.  As a traveler, I tend to discount governments in favor of a particular country's citizens.  In this regard, Thailand is a very rich place indeed.  If one were to strike all countries with dubious governments off of one's travel list, the world would be a much smaller place.  I would venture to add that even nations that are held up as beacons of democracy might not stand up well to the scrutiny of a traveler with a serious human-rights sensibility.  So I leave this choice to the individual.

One of the things that I love about Thailand is the crazy street scene that springs up every evening in almost any town.  One of the things that drives me crazy about Thailand is banging my head or risking a broken leg every time I go for a walk into that crazy scene.  First of all, Thai folks are not tall.  Awnings, food cart signs, street signs, and random pointy bits are all of just the right height to catch a six-foot Farrang a good whop on the noggin.  One minute you are walking down the street looking at the next great food treat and the next minute the Thais are laughing as the big foreigner

 is rubbing his head after banging it on some low-hanging hazard.  While you are looking out for things threatening your brain pan, it will be a sure thing that you will miss the multitudinous hazards at your feet.  Broken pavement, open drains, gaping holes in the sidewalk (really!) and noxious puddles of ick all conspire to trip, soil, or maim an unwary walker's feet.  And remember, you are wearing flip-flops.  Not exactly serious toe armor.  One gets used to it, but when you bang your head or bruise your toes (or worse), don't say I didn't warn you.

Another aspect of the obstacle course is Thais on scooters.  While they will not run you over, as a rule, they will form a phalanx of plastic and steel right in front of the very stand from which you wish to purchase a delectable treat.  The Thais don't really walk.  They ride scooters, ride them right up to the stands and stores.  Transactions are carried out without the scooter pilots even dismounting.  The added annoyance of the scooter traffic in the heart of the markets and street scene is the heavy layer of scooter exhaust that hangs in the air. 

Speaking of the markets, one of the curses of Thailand is the culture of the plastic bag.  Everything one buys seems to come in a plastic bag.  Just try buying a bottle of water and declining the plastic bag that the clerk is sure to place it in.  It is very perplexing to the clerk.  The same is true in the market stalls.  Buy some pork skewers, for example.  The skewers go into a small plastic bag and then the chili sauce is spooned over them.  The vendor then puts the first plastic bag into a second plastic bag.  Eventually plastic bottles and plastic bags are going to cover the Kingdom.  You can do your small part to help.  Water stations are available to fill bottles.  Try to use them instead of buying a new bottle of water.  Backpacker-style water filters allow for filling your own bottle using tap water.  Save money, save the Thais from themselves, even in a tiny way.

Quiet sleep.  This is not what you are generally going to get in Thailand.  Not in the city, not in the countryside.  Geckos, Tokays, Hoo-Ha Birds, traffic, roosters (oh, the goddamn roosters!) all conspire to make sure that a traveler is up bright and early after a very noisy night of not sleeping that well.  Bring earplugs.  You will thank me.  

Speaking of sleeping, be forewarned that Thai beds are generally on the firm to rock-hard end of the spectrum.  And the pillows can tend to be giant.  It takes some getting used to.

Thai food is great.  The food is one of the main reasons I return to Thailand.  Even with my immense tolerance for noodles, twice a day if I can get them, there will come a day on a journey when a traveler just cannot look at another bowl of rice or noodles.  It's okay, but remember that tourist food is the most dangerous food.  Try going for a nice Halal or Indian meal to break up the steady diet of Thai dishes.  Pizza and hamburgers:  Danger Young Will Robinson!!

Although coffee is slowly becoming more of a part of Thai culture, it can still be a real pain to get a decent cuppa joe.   If you are a serious coffee drinker, beware.  Even more difficult is to get a cup of coffee without sugar.  Thai folks love sugar.  They will be very puzzled when you are displeased that they have politely pre-sugared your coffee for you.  

Toilets.  Yes, squat toilets are the norm in most of rural Thailand.  Your guesthouse or hotel will have a western-style toilet.  Lots of other places will not.  Mind where your loose clothing is.  The plastic bowl floating in the bigger tank is the flushing device.  You'll figure it out.  Besides, the New-Age folks will be happy to tell you that squatting is a much healthier posture for taking care of business.

On the topic of hygiene, feet are a big deal in Thailand.  The head is clean, feet are not.  You will get used to it, but one must remove their footwear before going into private dwellings or temples.  Please, if you are traveling in the Kingdom, here are a few things that you just should NOT do.  Do not point your feet at a Buddha image.  Do not touch Thai folks with your feet.  And Yo! Backpackers!  Do NOT tie your boots on the outside of your backpack and then bang them into Thai folks on trains and buses.  This is very, very rude by Thai standards!  Every guidebook out there talks about this.  Stop it already!  

So your feet, they are going to be dirty.  Get used to it.  It is way too hot for shoes anyway.

Thailand is a huge tourist destination.  If you really want to find that quiet spot or that secluded beach, you are going to have to work for it.  November, December and January bring hordes of tourists and travelers to the Kingdom.  If you venture to a popular tourist spot during these times, expect the prices to be at their highest, the Thais smiles to be strained, and any attraction to be swarmed.  Tour groups following their leader's little flag will run right over you.  Work a little harder, travel a little farther, stretch your openness to the off-season, however, and those quiet beaches or uncrowded ruins can become a reality.  

If you have never been to Thailand, I would urge you to go.  I would also suggest that perhaps 2017 might not be the best year to do so.  Everything is not perfect in the Kingdom of Smiles, but push the edges of the tourist trail and you will most likely find great rewards.  I will warn you that the riches of Thailand may come at a price.  This is the sort of place that can steal a piece of your heart and not give it back.  Thailand, warts and all, is still a worthy destination for an open-minded traveler.